You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
I can tell you without shame that most of what I have learned comes from my own journey of discovery. That’s a different way of saying that I have learned from my own mistakes.
I have had excellent role models and teachers over the years, however, hearing the lessons and seeing the models is not an automatic formula for success. Musicians rehearse. Leaders should rehearse as well. Here’s the famous quote that comes to mind, “Perfect practice makes perfect.” That’s a highly misquoted phrase. Rehearsal is not effective if the musician rehearses the wrong notes. We learn the wrong thing by doing the wrong thing.
We have all had yeas of conditioning in doing the wrong things. We repeat those things and continue to get the wrong results.
It’s time to change that pattern. One way to get out of that rut is to evaluate our own performance and revise what we do going forward.
Mistakes, errors, failures, or whatever we call these problems are all potential learning opportunities. We can have a great coach and learn many things, and get feedback on the things we don’t see that we are doing wrong, or get a perspective on why we get the negative results that we get. The real learning comes from our own self-awareness and introspective analysis.
Here are some ways that I choose to get benefit from the many learning opportunities that come my way:
Focus on Outcomes
- Don’t get lost in the weeds which are the micro details. We focus on the wrong things and then don’t change our results. By placing our focus on outcomes, we gain perspective on the big picture and the impact of our actions.
- Remember the value of what we offer. We provide value. Many times, leaders list focus on value in thinking product or service. What value do we offer to others? What is the value we have received in gaining perspective due to our own shortcomings?
- Evaluate our routine to see if the very routing is creating the dysfunction. For example, if we continually book clients back-to-back, so that we don’t have time in between calls, then there is no time to reflect or to prepare for the next engagement. Our routine might be causing problems, as well as our decisions.
Don’t Avoid Addressing Issues
- Avoidance is worse than not recognizing or acknowledging an issue. It’s easy putting off dealing with a situation if it takes effort or is emotionally painful to deal with. As James Allen says, “Men want to change their circumstances and are unwilling to change themselves, so they remain bound.” Getting out of our comfort zone is necessary for personal growth.
- Being transparent with others in the organization is also what we commonly avoid. We don’t want to show up as humans who have gaps in our skills. Be direct in communications and don’t whine.
Analyze Cause – Internal or External
- It’s really easy to blame negative results on external causes – the economy, others who don’t perform up to standard, too many demands on our time and energy, etc. When things go wrong and we don’t get the expected results, look in the mirror. Mostly, leaders set up problems for themselves and others. Be clear. Be concise. Be cognitional – check for understanding.
- Many times we are anxious and that anxiety spreads in the group. Our internal being influences out external team. We also transmit negative emotions which can create negative results. Managing self is a primary leadership skill.
Manage Attitude
- Tho old joke that we must be sincere, whether we mean it or not, isn’t really funny – some leaders practice this paradigm. We can be a negative influence to others internal or external, when they feel our transmitted attitude. It’s important to manage our emotions and remain a thinking leader, not an emotional leader.
- Showing anger creates a fear of being transparent to others. Remain calm so others can remain calm. This enables meaningful conversations on difficult topics.
Define Lessons Learned
- I use Evernote to jot things down, as Jim Rohn encouraged in his presentations. I can add to the notes on whatever device I have in hand at the moment, as well. Capture the lessons learned and keep a running journal for reminding yourself about those important truths, and to have a place to look over the lessons over time to see how you have grown personally over time.
- These notes are also personal affirmations. Write down your affirmations from lessons learned. Read them when feeling discouraged or challenged. It’s an “attitude adjustment.”
There are many more ways to grow from our failures. This is not an exhaustive list. It’s an encouragement to develop a process to record and learn from your own journey.
Hugh Ballou
The Transformational Leadership Strategist TM
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